Anthony Bourdaintraveled the world in search of indigenous food and untold stories but struggled with profound loneliness. In this week’s cover story, we honor the food rebel’s final days, and his unconventional rise to fame that would touch the lives of millions.

Bourdaindied of an apparent suicideinside his hotel room in Kaysersberg, a small village in the Alsace region of France, where he was filming an episode ofParts Unknown,the CNN series that chronicled the travel host’s quest for culture and cuisine. He was 61.

Those around him in the weeks before his death noticed a lighter mood, especially since the release of the June 3 Hong Kong episode ofParts Unknown,which hisgirlfriend Asia Argentodirected.

“When I was working with him last week, he was giddy,” says CNN publicist Karen Reynolds. “He was texting me and e-mailing me, which he doesn’t normally do.”

David S. Holloway

PUAB: Cuba

But spending some 250 days of the year on the road also took its toll. “Travel can be a struggle, because sometimes it’s easier to think of the place you’d rather be,” says Bourdain’s longtime photographer David Holloway. “He would rave about Rome, where his girlfriend lived. He would say it’s an amazing city to fall in love in.”

After two years at Vassar College, he dropped out to attend the Culinary Institute of America and eventually work as a chef where he would find the trouble he was looking for. In the 1980s Bourdain bounced from job to job at restaurants in New York City while struggling with a serious drug addiction.

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ANTHONY BOURDAIN, NEW YORK, AMERICA - 2000

He eventually got clean in the early ’90s, and while working as the executive chef at French brasserie Les Halles in 1999, Bourdain solidified his role as a cook and a talented writer when his essay“Don’t Eat Before Reading This”was published inThe New Yorker.He later expanded the article in his tell-allbestselling memoirKitchen Confidential,which would make him famous.

For PEOPLE’s tribute to two icons: Talent & Tragedy, pick up this week’s issue, on newsstands Friday.

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RELATED VIDEO: Anthony Bourdain, Celebrated American Chef, Dead at 61 from Apparent Suicide

In 17 years on the road, Bourdain visited nearly 100 countries and left an unparalleled mark on the food industry—and the world.

“Tony’s thoughts connected with people,” says photographer Holloway. “Everyone has a picture and a story. These are real moments, because Tony was honest. People feel an honest loss.”

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “help” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go tosuicidepreventionlifeline.org.

source: people.com